Hidden by a Hair Curtain

It’s official…I can no longer hide.

Last week I got my long, thick, flowing hair chopped off. I’m talking short (but still feminine, according to the hairdresser.) What made me decide to have it cut? The courage of my sister Shannon convinced me to do it.

Shannon has long been the person that I most admire. She is smart (able to do crossword puzzles without cheating), beautiful (many people think that she’s actually much younger than I am) and successful (a nurse for many, many years, but more like a doctor). Even more, Shannon is very much the extrovert. I tend to try to blend into the walls and not be noticed, unless I’m teaching a horticulture class. Shannon, on the other hand, is the shining star in the middle of the room. Everyone loves, admires, and respects her.

Shannon recently took a drastic step and had her hair dyed bleach blonde, and then had shocking pink color added to the front and all around the sides and back, in a bowl shape. It's AWESOME. Most people would look ridiculous, but on Shannon it’s a work of art. She can tell the world "I’m being creative, and if you don’t like it you can kiss my a**!" and stand proud.

I followed Shannon’s lead recently. In a moment of "I can do it"-ness, I asked my hairdresser Chris to hack it off, so that I looked like Reba from one of the earlier years. The pile of hair on the floor kept getting bigger and bigger. When I finally looked in the mirror, I saw a self-assured (if somewhat round-faced) woman staring back at me. My hair ROCKED.

Here I am, nearly a week later, trying to be confident. I found that I used my long hair as a shield against uncomfortable situations. I could tip my head forward, and my hair would fall down around the side of my face, shielding me from reality. My hair was my curtain. (Did you ever notice that your hair is never the same as when the hairdresser does it?)

I need to learn confidence and pride in myself, something that a lot of "chubby" women like myself tend to lack. It’s going to be a tough road, but by challenging myself and expanding my horizons, I can make it.

I think I’ll go paint my fingernails black or bright red as the next step in my confidence therapy. Good-bye, pale pink….hello, aplomb!